Dear Susan: The Bachelor National Nightmare is Over

Dear Susan,

This photo represents the utter lack of excitement during this season of The Bachelor.

This photo represents the utter lack of excitement during this season of The Bachelor.

Last week was the “Women Tell All” special. I didn’t recap it for you because a) the women did not tell all – they mostly spent their time crying, complaining about what someone else said, and accepting apologies – which means that it was also b) BORING. I cannot thing of one thing that I would tell you about it so we’ll just move on to last night’s 3 hour finale extravaganza.

Not even all the kissing can make me think this season was interesting.

Not even all the kissing can make me think this season was interesting.

Despite how boring this season has been, I found myself really into last night’s episode. I’ll tell you one thing, The Bachelor editors are pretty good at their jobs. They made Becca, the most on-the-fence person to ever be on this show, seem riveting. However, as I go through my notes, I am realizing that once again, this season with Farmer Chris was just incredibly boring. Continue reading

Dear Susan: The Most Boring Bachelor in Bachelor History

Dear Susan,

The fear on Kaitlyn's face says it all.

The fear on Kaitlyn’s face says it all.

First of all, I spent all morning writing this post on my iPad only to then immediately delete it when I went to post and now I have to start all over. The fact that I’m spending even this much time on this supremely boring episode of The Bachelor is boring to me. But man, was the last post good. This one won’t be as good. Sorry.

The most important thing about this episode is that one girl wears a really great necklace and another wears a great dress. But the third girl wore what appear to be black pleather shorts so. . . I guess 2 out of 3 isn’t bad. Also, the most engaging conversation that Chris has is with a monkey in the episode tag. I’m not even kidding. Continue reading

Dear Susan: The Bachelor & The Black Widow

Dear Susan,

The saga of Kelsey

The saga of Kelsey

If you’ll remember, we left off last week with Chris getting “emotional” and calling off the cocktail party before the rose ceremony which somehow led to Kelsey having a panic attack on the floor in front of the bathroom. We pick up right where we left off with Kelsey moaning on the ground and all of the other girls rolling their eyes. As soon as she is given the opportunity, she asks to see Chris so she can prove to him how much she deserves a rose (since she did have a panic attack for him after all) which just further pisses off the other girls who note that she was probably not going to get a rose, pulled the panic attack bullshit and asked for more time with Chris and will now probably get one. The best part is when she finally “recovers” and goes back into the room with the other ladies where she starts holding court and laughing and claiming to know exactly what Chris is thinking. She is just a total creepster. (Ashley even suggests that her whole dead husband might be fake, but here’s his obituary. It’s sad that this man died, but you can tell that Kelsey has always been a creepster.) Continue reading

Dear Susan: The Bachelor gets CRAY

Dear Susan,

This season of The Bachelor seems to be vying for the title of craziest women. While there are a handful of ladies who seem moderately appropriate for Farmer Chris, for the most part, they are all coming off as completely insane. While Ashley S. (she of the crazy eyes and garbled speech) left last week with barely a peep, I don’t think we’re going to be so lucky with the remanning weirdos.

Oh Megan. You are a treasure.

Oh Megan. You are a treasure.

On Monday night we entered the travelogue portion of the show. My mom loves this part of the season because she gets to vicariously visit a whole bunch of places without having to pay for it. Bachelor Chris loves this part of the season because he finally knows exactly what to say: “[Insert Place] really feels like the perfect place to fall in love”. No joke, if you look back at every season where they traveled, this line gets said at least a few times about a few different places. The first stop on The Bachelor world tour is Santa Fe, New Mexico. I love New Mexico. I’ve only been there once for a commercial shoot but it was gorgeous in a way I’d never experienced before. The best part of the fact that they are in New Mexico is that we get to see how truly stupid Megan is: she’s very excited that they’re leaving the country (yup).  Continue reading

Dear Susan: The Bachelor and his virgins

A photo of what's to come

A photo of what’s to come

Dear Susan,

This week is more of a stream of consciousness recap than one with a lot of structure. There are still too many girls to really keep up with and we haven’t really seen any major connections for Chris quite yet (although I think there were the beginnings of a couple last night). In other words, it’s still all drama, drama, drama with no real outcomes.  Continue reading

Bits and Bobs: TV is still awesome

TV is as good as ever (LOVED the twist on The Vampire Diaries last night that when an original dies their whole bloodline dies with them) but I’ve found that when the TV I love is really good, I have less of a need to blog about it.  Here are a few bits and bobs that I’ve been thinking about anyway:

– Nothing makes me happier than seeing So You Think You Can Dance alum in new projects – last week I pointed out that Alex Wong is in Newsies on broadway (along with Jess LeProtto from season 8 and Evan Kasprzak from season 5), this week it has come to my attention that Kathryn McCormick from Season 6 is starring in Step Up: Revolution out this summer.  Not only that, but Travis Wall is going to be choreographing a few of the dances.  Dude.  This is going to be the best (dance-wise) in the series yet!

– Do you think America is ready for a black Bachelor? If ABC/Mike Fleiss go with Lamar Hurd from Portland, OR I think the answer is ABSOLUTELY!  Check out his audition video in which he comes across as sincere, well-spoken, actually interesting and also adorable!  That smile!  Seriously, ABC.  You should do this.

– Show pickups for next season are starting to trickle in from the networks and so far there haven’t been any major surprises.  I’m still holding out hope for a Fringe renewal from Fox though.

– I have finally watched Terriers, the FX series from 2010.  It is awesome.  I still have 1 episode to go but it is so worth checking out on Netflix if you’re looking for a great show.


The Bachelor Season Finale: Love? Probably not so much.

Can't say I'm going to miss Ben and Courtney (or Ben's awful, awful hair)

I was spoiled about the “winner” of The Bachelor after the first episode.  I found Courtney to be so obnoxious and didn’t want to waste my time watching Ben’s “journey” if she was going to be on the show for long so I let a friend spill the beans and I could not be happier that I didn’t watch this season religiously.  I did catch an episode here and there but was just so unimpressed and appalled by Courtney that it left a bad taste in my mouth.  I watched the finale last night with a couple of my girlfriends and despite the crap ending of Ben choosing Courtney (although, let’s be honest, Lyndzi wasn’t a good match for him either), I found the After The Final Rose episode to be pretty interesting.  I can’t quite put my finger on why, but I actually believe that Ben wants to work through this rough patch in his relationship with Courtney.  I don’t know that I got the same feeling of sincerity from Courtney, but a lot of that is because I have never found her to be sincere so it’s an uphill battle for her to change my opinion at this point.I don’t think they have a snowball’s chance in hell of making it down the aisle, but over the years I have learned to be satisfied with long-term (meaning 6 months or longer) relationships.

Wow. They don't look happy AT ALL.

Another thing I loved about ATFR was seeing Ashley and JP.  They seem to have an actual relationship and I would put money down that they not only get married but become the next Trista/Ryan-Mesnick/Molly pairing that this franchise trots out at the end of every season to prove that it’s not entirely full of crap.  They seem to have actually worked to build a life together.  She finished her dental degree (which is huge!) and they have a realistic approach to their wedding (waiting until she was done with school and in her residency).  There seem to be a few keys to making one of these relationships last and I’d say the biggest one is a willingness to move.  Unfortunately, up to this point, it’s always the women moving to a new city and trying to fit themselves into their man’s life (which is probably why Jen and Andrew didn’t work out) but being in the same city is paramount.  Another key to success is staying out of the spotlight.  Ali and Roberto took care of key #1 when she moved to San Diego, however, they neglected key #2 and seemed to be all about the media attention (well, she did).  You can’t have a real relationship under that kind of scrutinization.  So, we’ll see if Courtney and Ben are able to sidestep the pitfalls of their previous contenders and actually make a go of it.  My guess is that we won’t be seeing them at the end of Emily’s season of The Bachelorette (which starts on May 14th).

The Bachelor: Ben Episode 1

Ben welcomes the ladies.

Happy New Year TV Junkies!  After a slow December, television has come roaring back with the premiere of Ben Flajnik’s season of The Bachelor.  After much thought I have decided to give you a list of my thoughts rather than a composed recap.  I just can’t anymore.  This show has devolved into a series of crazy women crying and it hurts my soul to think too much about it.  However, I must give credit where credit is due and admit that the producers and editors have sucked me in for another season of this crap.  Here are a few of my thoughts. Continue reading

The Bachelorette: Oh Ashley. Use your brain.

I wish the producers would have actually shown Ashley dancing. If she can actually dance, it would make me like her so much more.

These early episodes of The Bachelorette are just a mess.  Let’s get the messiest of the mess out of the way first: Bentley.  What a douche.  I mean, seriously.  I don’t know how this kind of exposure is supposed to help his business, but after watching him behave in such an immature, cruel manner towards a girl who is innately hopeful and sweet would actually stop me from helping him in any way.  I don’t care how cool his family fun center is (and I don’t know how cool it is.  It’s probably not cool at all).  From the previews of next week’s episode it looks like he takes himself out of the game pretty early which is a relief.  My friend N. and I were worried that he made it pretty far from the devastation that Ashley was expressing over his cruelty, but no.  Two rose ceremonies and he’s out.  My prediction is that his removal from the “game” has nothing to do with not wanting to hurt Ashley and everything to do with getting bored of the whole thing.  It can’t be fun pretending to be a nice guy when in reality you’re a complete jackass.  And while yes, he definitely tricked everyone on the show about his intentions, it’s probably not a charade that he could have kept up much longer.  As soon as some of the guys started feeling attachments to Ashley they probably would have started to see through him.  I’m actually really glad that he goes next week.  I just want to see him crush her and be done with it already.  Not that I want to see Ashley crushed, I just think this buildup is tiresome and that he is tiresome and does not deserve an ounce more of my television time.  The fact that Ashley is buying into Bentley’s “insecure” crap is strike one against her ability to judge someone’s character.   Continue reading

The Bachelorette: Ashley’s second chance at love.

Ashley and J.P.

The first episode of The Bachelorette is always really overwhelming.  Unlike The Bachelor, I don’t have 25 ugly dresses to judge and instead have to try to parse out the guys based on “personality”.  And there are just so many guys.  I try to come up with nicknames for them right away to help tell them apart.  Usually the nicknames focus on something negative (Chris L. from Ali’s season was nicknamed dead mom for the entire season.  Which is just mean.  He was a total sweetheart!  I was actually rooting for him to be The Bachelor), they don’t make me feel that good about myself.  A couple of the guys stood out right away: Tim, because he got so drunk he couldn’t walk to the car by himself (hey, it happens every season at least once, whether there are 25 men or 25 women vying for the rose); Jeff, because he was wearing a mask (duh) which would have seemed less gimmicky if he had just taken it off right away; and Matt because he looks so much like former Road Rules contestant (future star of NBC’s Grimm) David Giuntoli it was all I could think about while he was on the screen.  I think Ashley has some pretty sweet, genuine guys in the mix and already I have my top three narrowed down to J.P. (shaved head from New York), Ryan P. (winner of the first impression rose) and William (who is the kind of dork that isn’t self conscious about it).   Continue reading